Get Your Upper Body in Crop-Top Shape

Front Raise: We know you're ready for warmer weather, and with this move, your body will be totally prepared to bust out of hibernation, too. The simple yet effective exercise works your shoulders, arms, and core. Rest assured, it's deceivingly challenging!

Why Are So Many Women Obsessed with Getting Plumper Lips?

The social media-based Kylie Jenner Challenge exploded across the Internet earlier this week, sparking intense conversation as it trended. If you managed to avoid seeing the swollen mouths of any "competitors," here's the deal: In order to attain Kylie-sized lips (which the reality TV star attributes to the magic of lip liner), people encased their mouths in small cups (like shot glasses, for example) and breathed in, relying on the suction for some thickening action. Although some participants claimed to be satirizing the lip-mania, others seemed to genuinely want fuller lips. The results ranged from alarming to straight-up grotesque (if you feel queasy when you see blood, the hashtag's not for you), and lots of folks petitioned 

How to Recreate Spa Water at Home

Treat yourself to some hydration heaven.

Ever notice how the water at spas always tastes so much better than...just about any other attempt at flavored H2O? The secret, says Cecelia McKibben, spa manager with the Hotel Jerome's Auberge Spa in Aspen, is filling your water dispenser with all of your ingredients the night before you want to drink up to really let the flavors seep in (she notes that the Auberge Spa uses filtered water and organic ingredients, which could also help with the flavor). Here's the super simple recipe McKibben's spa uses most often if you want to whip up your own batch at home:

9 cups filtered water
1 tsp grated ginger
1 large cucumber, sliced thin
1 large lemon, sliced thin
13 spearmint leaves

Put all ingredients into a large container, and let sit overnight.

How to Deal with an Itchy Scalp

Because it’s really the worst.

You've been scratching at your scalp since December, haven't you? Whether it's a subtle annoyance that only comes after you've skipped a day or two of shampooing or a persistent itch that leaves white flecks all over your shoulders when you finally give in—it’s there. Though the dry winter air and indoor heat can initially cause the flakiness, it may stick around through spring if you don’t treat it, and it may be affecting your hair growth.

5 Super Easy Dinners That’ll Help You Lose 5 Pounds

Can you guess the secret ingredient they all share?

Losing weight isn't easy; just ask Ali Maffucci, who lost about 60 pounds a few years ago by going vegan, only to gain it all back. The next time she set out to get to a healthy weight, she tried a different strategy: working out consistently and eating a healthful, balanced diet without completely ditching animal-based foods. And this time around, Maffucci was working as the food blogger behind Inspiralized, a site with tons of produce-based recipes that include spiralized ingredients. She ended up dropping about 50 pounds and just released a cookbook, also called Inspiralized. 

Later this week, a spiralizer she designed herself with special features will also hit the market ($49.95, inspiralized.com). Want to transform your weight—and your life? Here are five of Maffucci's favorite recipes for weight loss. They all contain spiralized zucchini to cut calories and carbs while loading you up with filling fiber.

Chicken and Tomato Basil Pomodoro Zucchini Pasta
"When I was on my own personal weight-loss journey, I made this dish once or twice a week," says Maffucci. "It's easy to make, and it's packed with flavor, lean protein, and—of course—low-calorie and low-carb zucchini noodles."

1 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 lb boneless chicken breasts, roughly cubed
Salt and pepper, to taste
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1 large clove garlic, minced
1/3 cup diced white onions
1 14 oz can diced tomatoes (or crushed tomatoes), with juices
1-1 1/2 Tbsp chopped basil
2 medium zucchinis, spiralized with blade C, noodles trimmed

1. Place a pot or saucepan over medium heat, and add in the olive oil. Once the oil heats, add in the chicken. Season with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Cook for three minutes, and then flip over, cooking another three to five minutes, or until chicken is cooked through and no longer pink on the inside.

2. Add in the garlic and onions, and cook for two to three minutes, or until onions start to soften and become translucent. Then, add in the canned tomatoes, and roughly crush the tomatoes with a potato masher or the back of a fork. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat and simmer. Season with salt and pepper, and let cook for five minutes. Add in the basil, and cook for another five to 10 minutes, or until most of the liquid has evaporated and is thicker, suitable for cooking with zucchini noodles. Add in the zucchini noodles, and toss for two to three minutes, or until noodles are al dente.

3. Divide into two bowls.

RELATED: 4 Things I Wish I Knew BEFORE I Started Losing Weight 

ALI MAFFUCCI

Gluten-Free Zucchini Spaghetti Fried Eggs
"When you're busy and don't have much time to make dinner, this will become your new go-to," says Maffucci. "It comes together in less than 30 minutes! The 'breadcrumbs' are made from Italian dried herbs and almond flour, so they won't cause your blood-sugar levels to spike like glutenous carbohydrates would. Plus, the flavors from the egg and the garlic zucchini noodles will satisfy your tastebuds while fulfilling your hunger." 

For the breadcrumbs:
2 Tbsp almond meal
1/8 tsp dried oregano flakes
1/8 tsp dried basil flakes
1/8 tsp dried parsley flakes
1/8 tsp garlic powder
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 teaspoon water

For the pasta:
2 medium zucchinis, spiralized with blade C or D
1 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1 large garlic clove, minced
1 pinch red pepper flakes
2 large eggs

1. Place a medium skillet over medium heat, and coat with cooking spray. Meanwhile, combine all of the ingredients for the breadcrumbs except the water in a small bowl, and whisk together. Add in the water, and use your hands to form a dough—it should end up looking like a ball.

2. Crumble the dough ball into the heated skillet, and continually break up with a wooden spoon. Cook for two to three minutes, or until breadcrumbs break up, harden, and become “toasted.” Set aside in a bowl.

3. Place a large skillet over medium-high heat, and add in the olive oil. Once oil heats, add in the garlic and red pepper flakes, and cook 30 seconds, or until fragrant. Add in the zucchini noodles, and toss for three to five minutes, or until noodles have reached your desired consistency.

4. Meanwhile, place the medium skillet back over medium-high heat, and coat with cooking spray. Once heated (flick water into the pan, and it should sizzle—that's how you know it's ready), add in the eggs, and cook for three to five minutes, or until egg whites have set.

5. Plate the zucchini noodles on two dishes, top with fried egg, and sprinkle breadcrumbs over the meals.

RELATED: Trash These 6 Seemingly Innocent Foods to Lose More Weight

ALI MAFFUCCI

Zucchini Pasta Primavera
"I find vegetarian pasta dishes can be unfulfilling, but this zucchini noodle dish doesn't disappoint," says Maffucci. "The dietary fiber in the vegetables keeps you full longer and doesn't weigh you down, leaving you energized and focused."

1 1/2 cups broccoli florets
1 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
3 tsp minced garlic
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
1/2 small red onion, peeled and thinly sliced
1/2 cup defrosted green peas
1 bell pepper, seeds and top removed, thinly sliced
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 Tbsp parsley, freshly chopped
2 medium zucchinis, spiralized with blade C
2 medium carrots, peeled and then shaved with a vegetable peeler
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese, plus more for garnish

1. Bring a medium pot filled halfway with lightly salted water to a boil. Once boiling, add in the broccoli, and cook for two minutes, or until tender but still crunchy. Drain into a colander, pat dry, and set aside.

2. Place a large skillet over medium heat, and add in the olive oil. Once the oil heats, add in the garlic, red pepper flakes, and onions. Cook the onions for two to three minutes, or until translucent. Then, add in the tomatoes, green peas, and bell pepper, and season with salt and pepper. Cook for about three minutes, or until the bell pepper softens.

3. Add in the zucchini noodles, carrot shavings, lemon juice and parsley, and toss for two to three minutes, or until the zucchini noodles are al dente.

4. Add in the broccoli and Parmesan cheese, and toss completely to spread the cheese.

5. Separate into three bowls, and top with additional Parmesan cheese to garnish.

ALI MAFFUCCI

Chicken Zucchini Noodle Soup
"When we need comfort food, it's easy to reach for that box of chicken noodle soup," says Maffucci. "However, those can be high in calories and sodium—and other processed ingredients. This recipe will become your staple soup. It's low in calories, high in protein, and contains other nutrients from the simmered chicken bones. The zucchini noodles take the place of the flour-based pasta."

1/2 heaping cup diced red onion
2 celery ribs, diced
1 large carrot, diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 pinch red pepper flakes
1 Tbsp fresh thyme (or 1 tsp dried thyme)
1 Tbsp fresh oregano (or 1 tsp dried oregano)
4 chicken thighs, bone-in, about 1 3/4 pounds
2 bay leaves
6 cups low-sodium chicken broth
2 cups water
3 medium zucchinis

1. Place a large soup pot over medium heat, and add in the onions, celery, carrots, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Cook for three to five minutes, or until vegetables “sweat” and onions are translucent. Add in the thyme and oregano, and cook for another minute, stirring frequently.

2. Place in the chicken thighs and bay leaf, and pour in the chicken broth and water. Cover, and let come to a boil. Once boiling, lower to a steady simmer, and cook for 30 minutes. Afterward, remove the chicken, and peel off the skin and discard. Then, shred the chicken off the bone and set aside, with any juices. Place the bones back into the soup pot, and simmer uncovered for 10 more minutes.

3. While the bones simmer, slice the zucchinis halfway lengthwise. Then, spiralize them, using Blade C. Set aside.

4. Remove the bones and bay leaves, and discard. Add the reserved shredded chicken back to the pot, along with the zucchini noodles. Cook for five minutes, or until zucchini is al dente. Serve warm.

ALI MAFFUCCI

Vegan Creamy Ginger-Coconut Zucchini Noodles
"Talk about the ultimate nourishing meal," says Maffucci. "This green bowl of goodness contains everything you need to fuel your body and satisfy those tastebuds, like cashews, coconut milk, ginger, and of course, zucchini noodles."

1/2 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 1/2 Tbsp fresh ginger, peeled and minced
1 15-ounce can lite coconut milk
2 tsp lemon juice
Red pepper flakes, to taste
Salt and pepper, to taste
3 cups chopped kale
1/4 cup packed fresh basil
1/4 cup raw cashews
6 medium zucchinis, spiralized with blade C, noodles trimmed
3/4 cup defrosted green peas

1. In a large pot over medium heat, add in the olive oil. Once heated, add the garlic and ginger, and cook for one to two minutes, or until fragrant.

2. Add in the coconut milk, lemon juice, and red pepper flakes, and season with salt and pepper. Stir to combine, and then add in the kale. Cover, and cook until the greens have wilted, about five minutes.

3. Transfer the kale mixture to a high-speed blender, and add in the basil and cashews. Blend until smooth and creamy, and set aside.

4. Wipe down the pot, and place back over medium heat. Add in the zucchini noodles and peas, and toss for three to four minutes, or until cooked to al dente. Once cooked, divide into six bowls, and top with green sauce. Serve immediately.

Forget reruns! Summer brings a boatload of new shows with big stars

Ethan Burke (Matt Dillon) meets Beverly (guest star Juliette Lewis) in Fox’s “Wayward Pines.”

The TV networks really wish we’d spend a little more time indoors during the summer.

Ever since cable discovered that people would watch fresh programming in the formerly fallow summer months, all the networks have been dipping their toes a little more aggressively into the water.

That’s why we’ve got new shows this summer starring the likes of Nicole Kidman, David Duchovny, Jennifer Beals, Edward Burns, Matt Dillon and James Wolk.

CBS, undaunted by the relatively modest ratings last summer for the second season of

brings them both back and adds a third new mystery drama, “Zoo,” based on the James Patterson novel.

A few summer shows don’t have dates yet, including a new Seth MacFarlane comedy called “Blunt Talk” on Starz and AMC’s Brit drama “Humans” in June.

AMC plans a late-summer launch for perhaps the summer’s most-anticipated new show, a Los Angeles-based prequel to “The Walking Dead.” It comes from the same creative team that did the original.

So even though we’re more than a month away from the unofficial launch of the summer season, here’s some of what viewers can look forward to.

This spooky M. Night Shyamalan series is Fox’s big summer splash. It stars Matt Dillon, Terrence Howard (yes, same guy who also stars on Fox’s “Empire”) as two of the folks in a town where very very strange things happen.

What Drives Someone to Lie About Having a Serious Illness?

A health blogger recently admitted to making up her brain tumor, and many others have pulled the same stunt

.

Australian wellness expert Belle Gibson built a business around her claim that she healed her terminal brain cancer by eating whole foods and using alternative therapies. Her book, The Whole Pantry, and her app of the same name were bestsellers—but now we've learned that it was all based on a total lie.

"None of it's true," she said in the latest issue of Australian Women's Weekly. "I don't want forgiveness. I just think [speaking out] was the responsible thing to do. Above anything, I would like people to say, 'Okay, she's human.'" Gibson, 23, also admitted in the interview that she's passionate about avoiding gluten, coffee, and dairy but doesn't really understand how cancer works. 

Gibson's story was first called into question in March when Australia's The Age investigated claims that she was donating 25 percent of her company's profits to several charities. According to The Age, those donations were never made. A former friend of Gibson also publicly raised doubts about her cancer claims. 

RELATED: 9 Reasons Why Being Sick Is the WORST

But that raises the bigger question: Why would someone lie about having a serious illness in the first place?

"People lie because it works a lot of the time," says Alan Keck, Psy.D., an Orlando-area licensed psychologist. Overconfidence, naiveté, and just not caring that much may have been factors in Gibson's original claim.

Jane Greer, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist, says people will typically lie about having a serious illness in particular because it gives them sympathy, attention, and pity. "They have a need to be taken care of and are looking for more support from those around them," she says. Lying about overcoming the illness could also establish a sense of control in their lives and help [them] gain the respect of other people since they were allegedly successful in winning a serious health battle.

RELATED: 7 Lies We Tell at Doctor’s Appointments 

People who fake illnesses might also always be perceived as "strong" by those around them and only feel comfortable asking for help if they're sick, says Greer.

Greer says she isn't shocked that Gibson was able to pull off her lie for a while since it's easy for people to get wrapped up in their own fantasy and have it become their reality.

Gibson didn't reveal why, exactly, she chose to lie in the first place, but she did have this to say: "If I don't have an answer, then I will sort of theorize it myself and come up with one. I think that's an easy thing to often revert to if you don't know what the answer is."

That's a sign of a pathological liar, says Greer, adding that "the average person would say they don't know the answer, rather than choosing to make up a lie about it."

Kick That Cleanse to the Curb: How to Juice for Your Health

To juice or not to juice? That is the real question.
With the CDC recommending 2 servings of fruit and 3-5 servings of veggies each day, it seems like a good idea.But with Americans' average sugar consumption flying through the roof, how do you keep a healthy balance? 
Here, why it's still smart to chew your food, when to opt for drinking your greens — and what the heck words like centrifugal, cold-pressed, and pascalization really mean.

why you Don't Need a Juice Cleanse

Back in the '90s, juicing was one of those diet plans often left for the likes of celebrities and models who needed to slim down before walking the red carpet or runway. 

Then, handling a bottle of murky green liquid meant you were likely fasting, or not eating solid food for anywhere from three days to three weeks. Not anymore. "People have done cleanses because they usually think that their body needs it, and that's not really true," says Anne Mauney, MPH, RD, author of the healthy living blog fANNEtastic food. "Our body is made to cleanse out toxins and process foods all on its own. You don't need to go to an extreme measure."

Nowadays, using juice as a supplement to your diet is the more common — and healthier — way to go. "Every day is an opportunity to eat whole foods, which are nutrient-rich," says Elizabeth Ward, RD, nutrition consultant and Jamba Juice Healthy Living Council member. "If you focus mostly on that, you don't have to worry about hitting a reset button." It's also about developing long-term healthy eating habits, rather than reaching for a quick fix, adds Mauney. "Juicing should be a fun strategy that's just one part of your diet, not the whole thing."

The Pros to Drinking Your Veggies

Solid food will always be your go-to source of nutrition, but there are a few reasons why guzzling your greens is good in moderation. First, the convenience factor.

 "Do it if you're having trouble fitting in veggies or fruits throughout the day," says Mauney. "It's easier to have some juice over taking the time to prep and eat an enormous salad." Not to mention you can't exactly take that salad with you on the run, whereas you can lug a juice anywhere you please. 

Plus, it may help you get down the greens you aren't exactly fond of: a recent survey from Jamba Juice revealed that more than 1 in 5 Americans say they would prefer to drink beets and dark leafy greens in juice over eating them whole.

Another bonus? Fruits and veggies have a lot of fiber, which takes time for the body to digest. Juicing strips that down by removing some of the skin and pulp, allowing your body to quickly absorb the nutrients you need, says Mauney. Another bonus to squeezing in those extra nutrients? Brighter skin and more energy.

The Not-So-Nice Side of Juicing

It sounds like as long as you're not using juice as your only means of survival, there aren't really any downsides, right?

 Not so fast. 

While stripping the fiber from your fruits and veggies in a juice is good for faster digestion, it also has negative effects.

 Most of the fiber lives in the skin of the food, and removing that means you miss out on benefits like better bowel health, lower cholesterol levels, and increased satiety, notes Mauney.

 So while you're quickly absorbing the energy, you miss out on the complete package. "If you have juice one day, enjoy whole fruits or veggies the next," she recommends.

Another blow to the juicing halo: sugar. Many diehards opt to make their own concoction at home for more control over how much sugar goes in each drink.

Mauney recommends one serving of fruit per juice to keep it below 20 grams — and to eliminate any chance of added sugars getting into the mix. "If you look at the 2010 dietary guidelines for Americans and all of the other recommendations about sugar intake, it's about limiting added sugar," says Ward. "It's never to limit foods that happen to be sweet naturally, that's not the goal." While this makes those at-home juices ready for consumption, it slaps a red flag on bottled varieties, as many contain added sugar.

 But if that's more your style, follow the less than 20 grams per serving rule and make sure the nutrition label lists one serving size, says Mauney. If there are two, drink half and save the rest for later.

Decoding the Back of the Bottle

If you're a juicing newbie, here's your guide to all the fancy terminology you'll find in juice bars and on bottles.

Cold-pressed: The process in which juice is actually created. It involves grinding fruits and vegetables into a permeable pouch, squeezing it with a crazy amount of pressure so that every last drop of juice bleeds out, and leaving behind unwanted pulp.

Centrifugal: If you see this, step away. 

It's a faster way to create the juice, but these machines use heated-up rotary blades, which some believe essentially cooks — thus, eliminating — those hard-sought nutrients.

High Pressure Pascalization (HPP): This is the big difference between making fresh juice to be consumed immediately, and bottling juice. HPP is the process that allows the juice to last on shelves for a few days, or even weeks, whereas fresh juices (made ready-to-order at juice bars or at home) need to be consumed within 30 minutes to get the most nutrient bang for your buck. Research doesn't lean either way on whether HPP affects your juice. Don't fret if it's listed on the bottle.

Live Enzymes: Other than nutrients, this is what you're after in juice. Live enzymes are found in fruits and veggies, but die off once heat is applied to them. Juicing locks those live enzymes in. And because juicing uses a larger amount of fruits and veggies than you would chew in one sitting, you're getting a heftier dose. This helps aid digestion and absorption of food.

We Tried It: Juices to Love

When it's time to pick up a store-bought bottle, these are the ones we reach for.

Suja Elements: Green Charge: Despite being filled with tons of greens (kale, spinach, barley grass, alfalfa and more), the juice tasted fairly sweet, says editorial assistant Lauren Cardarelli. "It was the perfect pre-workout snack to fuel me through an early bird spin class."

Love Grace: Beauty Elixir: "This tastes just like my morning grapefruit without any of the hassle," says associate beauty editor Molly Ritterbeck. 

"Plus, phytonutrients and antioxidants keep my skin glowing and wrinkles at bay. Bonus!"

Evolution Fresh: Sweet Greens with Lemon: Available in any local Starbucks, this intro to juicing drink "tastes super fresh, and the touch of apple adds the perfect hit of sweetness to an otherwise veggie-heavy drink," says assistant web editor Samantha Shelton.

Blue Print: White When a strong dessert craving hits, beauty director Heather Muir reaches for this satisfying blend of cashew, vanilla, cinnamon and agave. "It's so yummy, and sweet enough to satisfy the craving without leaving me feeling like I overdid it."

For those who want to find a juice bar, we love the Green Hopping app ($0.99,itunes.com), available in New York City and soon in Miami, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, Austin, Chicago, D.C., and Boston. 

Using your phone's GPS function, it'll track the bars nearest you, and categorize them based on whether juice is served fresh or bottled, and whether that location caters to certain dietary restrictions (gluten-free, vegan). In a hurry? Use the payment system option to place your order before you even arrive, so you can simply grab and go.

4 Healthy Peanut Butter Recipes You're About to Fall in Love With

Sure, peanut butter may not be the lowest-calorie food in the world. But it has a ton of health benefits when consumed in moderation, thanks to the fiber, antioxidants, and healthy fats in peanuts. Peanuts may also increase your life span and reduce your risk of heart disease, according to recent research from Vanderbilt University Medical Center. 

While we know it's tempting to eat peanut butter straight from the jar (hey, we won't judge), these nine healthy peanut butter recipes take the spread to next-level deliciousness.



Peanut Butter Recipes: Peanut Butter Butternut Squash


We know it sounds like an odd pairing, but trust us on this one. 

Peanut butter and butternut squash are a match made in healthy meal heaven. Bonus: 

Butternut squash is packed with a little something called beta-cryptoxanthin—an antioxidant that has been linked with a lower risk of developing arthritis.

Peanut Butter Recipes: Crispy Peanut Tofu & Cauliflower Rice Stir-Fry

This veggie-loaded stir-fry supplies the perfect amount of sweetness thanks to a dash of brown sugar. 

We suggest using sriracha for flavor instead, if you're trying to cut back on the sweet stuff.

Peanut Butter Recipes: Chicken Quinoa Lettuce Wraps with Peanut

With 24 grams of protein per cup, quinoa deserves its place as the fit chick's go-to grain. 

Add protein-packed chicken, low-cal lettuce, and the healthy fats from peanut butter to the mix, and you've got one awesomely healthy wrap. 

Peanut Butter Recipes: Peanut Avocado Sushi

These rolls don't have any real fish—just peanut butter and avocados. And if you haven't made avocados a daily staple, start now.

 A Journal of the American Heart Association study found they can lower your LDL—or bad—cholesterol.

If You Want Long-Term Relationship Success, Do These 5 Things

Falling in love is great—here's how to extend your lifetime of bliss.

As a society, we expect to fall madly in love and be in a successful relationship. We want to hear trumpets and whistles, we want to feel butterflies in our stomach and hear birds singing in our souls. This is how we will know if someone is “the one.” This is how we will know if we have met Mr. or Ms. Right. Hollywood movies perpetuate this experience of true love and romance.

I always preach that we have to make more conscious choices when it comes to relationships and marriage. We have to address things like monogamy and other long-term and short-term goals ongoing. We have to have discussions, as difficult as they may be about our needs and recognize that we change and grow even after we’ve gotten married and committed ourselves to one person for the rest of our lives. I am always talking about how to make relationships work, through communication, how to come back from broken agreements and breach of trust, how important it is to know our wants and our needs and to be able to communicate it, how to maintain attractiveness to our partners.

I’ve come up with a short list of things you can do, which I believe, can help you stay in love longer and extend the lifetime of your bliss.

1. Slow down. Go slow. We are always in such a hurry to control the outcome when it comes to the object of our desires, whether it be sex, going steady, saying “I love you,” moving in together, marriage, babies, or whatever it is, we are so eager to get to the next step that we often lose sight of ourselves in the process. We lose touch with our friends, we lose touch with our work, family, interests and hobbies. So, slow it down. Let things unravel in their own time. If a relationship takes one year or five years to materialize, so be it. What is the rush? (*Note: If you are in a rush for something such as a biological clock or other arbitrary societal measure, then you are more likely to run into some of the problems I mentioned earlier).

2. Speak up for your needs. So this is key because this will set the tone for the relationship for years and years to come. This means saying you need a night off, or a few days off, even to take care of yourself. Whether it be just having alone time, keeping up with your work, your friends, your family or your hobbies, speak up for it. Even if you think you don’t want it or need it. Don’t neglect yourself for the sake of the relationship, for the sake of love.

3. Don’t forget your friends. Don’t forget your family. Don’t forget your work. Don’t forget your hobbies. In the early days of blissful lust and romance, it’s easy to become all consumed by your new lover. It may seem like a wonderful idea to spend every waking moment with them and neglect all the things you used to do. So even if you’d rather spend the evening basking in your love glow, accept that invitation to go to a concert with a friend, go to that party with your pals and leave the newfound lover to his/her own devices. Do some extra work at work, like you used to. Keep your Saturday surfing plans with your surfing group. Just because you are now blissfully in love, does not mean you two are joint at the hip. Keeping up with you is going to be key.

4. Spend time alone. Go to the gym alone. Go to the movies alone. Do all the things you did as a single person, not always like before, but once in a while. Don’t invite your new lover to do everything with you. I know you didn’t like doing it alone before, but guess what; this alone time is key to understanding yourself, nourishing yourself and setting the tone for long term healthy relationship patterns into the future.

5. Learn to say no. Learn to say no now. If you’re partner is the one always inviting you along, or wanting to tag along, say no. Even if you think you want them to join you, or even if you just don’t mind. Getting into a bad habit of saying yes, is akin to neglecting your needs. It might seem like a small thing now, but in the long run, it will help to maintain your independence and autonomy within a connected relationship. In the end, we need to be connected to our partners while also maintaining our selves. In the end, if one plus one equals two, that is better than two halves equaling one.

Maintaining your autonomy and independence will not only empower you as an individual by keeping you strong and maintaining your identity, it can also keep the passion, intimacy and attraction alive for years to come.

Moushumi Ghose is a Sex Therapist based in Los Angeles and New York City and provides coaching and consulting to clients worldwide.